Three in the boat, not counting the dog
There
were
four
of
us
—
George
,
and
William
Samuel
Harris
,
and
myself
,
and
Montmorency
.
We
were
sitting
in
my
room
,
smoking
,
and
talking
about
how
bad
we
were
--
bad
from
a
medical
point
of
view
I
mean
,
of
course
.
We
were
all
feeling
seedy
,
and
we
were
getting
quite
nervous
about
it
.
Harris
said
he
felt
such
extraordinary
fits
of
giddiness
come
over
him
at
times
,
that
he
hardly
knew
what
he
was
doing
;
and
then
George
said
that
he
had
fits
of
giddiness
too
,
and
hardly
knew
what
he
was
doing
.
With
me
,
it
was
my
liver
that
was
out
of
order
.
I
knew
it
was
my
liver
that
was
out
of
order
,
because
I
had
just
been
reading
a
patent
liver-pill
circular
,
in
which
were
detailed
the
various
symptoms
by
which
a
man
could
tell
when
his
liver
was
out
of
order
.
I
had
them
all
.
It
is
a
most
extraordinary
thing
,
but
I
never
read
a
patent
medicine
advertisement
without
being
impelled
to
the
conclusion
that
I
am
suffering
from
the
particular
disease
therein
dealt
with
in
its
most
virulent
form
.
The
diagnosis
seems
in
every
case
to
correspond
exactly
with
all
the
sensations
that
I
have
ever
felt
.
I
remember
going
to
the
British
Museum
one
day
to
read
up
the
treatment
for
some
slight
ailment
of
which
I
had
a
touch
--
hay
fever
,
I
fancy
it
was
.
I
got
down
the
book
,
and
read
all
I
came
to
read
;
and
then
,
in
an
unthinking
moment
,
I
idly
turned
the
leaves
,
and
began
to
indolently
study
diseases
,
generally
.
I
forget
which
was
the
first
distemper
I
plunged
into
--
some
fearful
,
devastating
scourge
,
I
know
--
and
,
before
I
had
glanced
half
down
the
list
of
"
premonitory
symptoms
,
"
it
was
borne
in
upon
me
that
I
had
fairly
got
it
.
I
sat
for
awhile
,
frozen
with
horror
;
and
then
,
in
the
listlessness
of
despair
,
I
again
turned
over
the
pages
.
I
came
to
typhoid
fever
—
read
the
symptoms
—
discovered
that
I
had
typhoid
fever
,
must
have
had
it
for
months
without
knowing
it
—
wondered
what
else
I
had
got
;
turned
up
St
.
Vitus
’
s
Dance
—
found
,
as
I
expected
,
that
I
had
that
too
,
—
began
to
get
interested
in
my
case
,
and
determined
to
sift
it
to
the
bottom
,
and
so
started
alphabetically
—
read
up
ague
,
and
learnt
that
I
was
sickening
for
it
,
and
that
the
acute
stage
would
commence
in
about
another
fortnight
.
Bright
’
s
disease
,
I
was
relieved
to
find
,
I
had
only
in
a
modified
form
,
and
,
so
far
as
that
was
concerned
,
I
might
live
for
years
.
Cholera
I
had
,
with
severe
complications
;
and
diphtheria
I
seemed
to
have
been
born
with
.
I
plodded
conscientiously
through
the
twenty
-
six
letters
,
and
the
only
malady
I
could
conclude
I
had
not
got
was
housemaid
’
s
knee
.
I
felt
rather
hurt
about
this
at
first
;
it
seemed
somehow
to
be
a
sort
of
slight
.
Why
had
n't
I
got
housemaid
's
knee
?
Why
this
invidious
reservation
?
After
a
while
,
however
,
less
grasping
feelings
prevailed
.
I
reflected
that
I
had
every
other
known
malady
in
the
pharmacology
,
and
I
grew
less
selfish
,
and
determined
to
do
without
housemaid
's
knee
.
Gout
,
in
its
most
malignant
stage
,
it
would
appear
,
had
seized
me
without
my
being
aware
of
it
;
and
zymosis
I
had
evidently
been
suffering
with
from
boyhood
.
There
were
no
more
diseases
after
zymosis
,
so
I
concluded
there
was
nothing
else
the
matter
with
me
.
I
sat
and
pondered
.
I
thought
what
an
interesting
case
I
must
be
from
a
medical
point
of
view
,
what
an
acquisition
I
should
be
to
a
class
!
Students
would
have
no
need
to
"
walk
the
hospitals
,
"
if
they
had
me
.
I
was
a
hospital
in
myself
.
All
they
need
do
would
be
to
walk
round
me
,
and
,
after
that
,
take
their
diploma
.
Then
I
wondered
how
long
I
had
to
live
.
I
tried
to
examine
myself
.
I
felt
my
pulse
.
I
could
not
at
first
feel
any
pulse
at
all
.
Then
,
all
of
a
sudden
,
it
seemed
to
start
off
.
I
pulled
out
my
watch
and
timed
it
.
I
made
it
a
hundred
and
forty-seven
to
the
minute
.
I
tried
to
feel
my
heart
.
I
could
not
feel
my
heart
.
It
had
stopped
beating
.
I
have
since
been
induced
to
come
to
the
opinion
that
it
must
have
been
there
all
the
time
,
and
must
have
been
beating
,
but
I
can
not
account
for
it
.
I
patted
myself
all
over
my
front
,
from
what
I
call
my
waist
up
to
my
head
,
and
I
went
a
bit
round
each
side
,
and
a
little
way
up
the
back
.
But
I
could
not
feel
or
hear
anything
.
I
tried
to
look
at
my
tongue
.
I
stuck
it
out
as
far
as
ever
it
would
go
,
and
I
shut
one
eye
,
and
tried
to
examine
it
with
the
other
.
I
could
only
see
the
tip
,
and
the
only
thing
that
I
could
gain
from
that
was
to
feel
more
certain
than
before
that
I
had
scarlet
fever
.
I
had
walked
into
that
reading-room
a
happy
,
healthy
man
.
I
crawled
out
a
decrepit
wreck
.
I
went
to
my
medical
man
.
He
is
an
old
chum
of
mine
,
and
feels
my
pulse
,
and
looks
at
my
tongue
,
and
talks
about
the
weather
,
all
for
nothing
,
when
I
fancy
I
'm
ill
;
so
I
thought
I
would
do
him
a
good
turn
by
going
to
him
now
.
"
What
a
doctor
wants
,
"
I
said
,
"
is
practice
.
He
shall
have
me
.
He
will
get
more
practice
out
of
me
than
out
of
seventeen
hundred
of
your
ordinary
,
commonplace
patients
,
with
only
one
or
two
diseases
each
.
"
So
I
went
straight
up
and
saw
him
,
and
he
said
:
