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- Стр. 1/45
White people
Perhaps
the
things
which
happened
could
only
have
happened
to
me
.
I
do
not
know
.
I
never
heard
of
things
like
them
happening
to
any
one
else
.
But
I
am
not
sorry
they
did
happen
.
I
am
in
secret
deeply
and
strangely
glad
.
I
have
heard
other
people
say
things
—
and
they
were
not
always
sad
people
,
either
—
which
made
me
feel
that
if
they
knew
what
I
know
it
would
seem
to
them
as
though
some
awesome
,
heavy
load
they
had
always
dragged
about
with
them
had
fallen
from
their
shoulders
.
To
most
people
everything
is
so
uncertain
that
if
they
could
only
see
or
hear
and
know
something
clear
they
would
drop
upon
their
knees
and
give
thanks
.
That
was
what
I
felt
myself
before
I
found
out
so
strangely
,
and
I
was
only
a
girl
.
That
is
why
I
intend
to
write
this
down
as
well
as
I
can
.
It
will
not
be
very
well
done
,
because
I
never
was
clever
at
all
,
and
always
found
it
difficult
to
talk
.
I
say
that
perhaps
these
things
could
only
have
happened
to
me
,
because
,
as
I
look
back
over
my
life
,
I
realize
that
it
has
always
been
a
rather
curious
one
.
Even
when
those
who
took
care
of
me
did
not
know
I
was
thinking
at
all
,
I
had
begun
to
wonder
if
I
were
not
different
from
other
children
.
That
was
,
of
course
,
largely
because
Muircarrie
Castle
was
in
such
a
wild
and
remote
part
of
Scotland
that
when
my
few
relations
felt
they
must
pay
me
a
visit
as
a
mere
matter
of
duty
,
their
journey
from
London
,
or
their
pleasant
places
in
the
south
of
England
,
seemed
to
them
like
a
pilgrimage
to
a
sort
of
savage
land
;
and
when
a
conscientious
one
brought
a
child
to
play
with
me
,
the
little
civilized
creature
was
as
frightened
of
me
as
I
was
of
it
.
My
shyness
and
fear
of
its
strangeness
made
us
both
dumb
.
No
doubt
I
seemed
like
a
new
breed
of
inoffensive
little
barbarian
,
knowing
no
tongue
but
its
own
.
A
certain
clannish
etiquette
made
it
seem
necessary
that
a
relation
should
pay
me
a
visit
sometimes
,
because
I
was
in
a
way
important
.
The
huge
,
frowning
feudal
castle
standing
upon
its
battlemented
rock
was
mine
;
I
was
a
great
heiress
,
and
I
was
,
so
to
speak
,
the
chieftainess
of
the
clan
.
But
I
was
a
plain
,
undersized
little
child
,
and
had
no
attraction
for
any
one
but
Jean
Braidfute
,
a
distant
cousin
,
who
took
care
of
me
,
and
Angus
Macayre
,
who
took
care
of
the
library
,
and
who
was
a
distant
relative
also
.
They
were
both
like
me
in
the
fact
that
they
were
not
given
to
speech
;
but
sometimes
we
talked
to
one
another
,
and
I
knew
they
were
fond
of
me
,
as
I
was
fond
of
them
.
They
were
really
all
I
had
.
When
I
was
a
little
girl
I
did
not
,
of
course
,
understand
that
I
was
an
important
person
,
and
I
could
not
have
realized
the
significance
of
being
an
heiress
.
I
had
always
lived
in
the
castle
,
and
was
used
to
its
hugeness
,
of
which
I
only
knew
corners
.
Until
I
was
seven
years
old
,
I
think
,
I
imagined
all
but
very
poor
people
lived
in
castles
and
were
saluted
by
every
one
they
passed
.
It
seemed
probable
that
all
little
girls
had
a
piper
who
strode
up
and
down
the
terrace
and
played
on
the
bagpipes
when
guests
were
served
in
the
dining
-
hall
.
My
piper
’
s
name
was
Feargus
,
and
in
time
I
found
out
that
the
guests
from
London
could
not
endure
the
noise
he
made
when
he
marched
to
and
fro
,
proudly
swinging
his
kilts
and
treading
like
a
stag
on
a
hillside
.
It
was
an
insult
to
tell
him
to
stop
playing
,
because
it
was
his
religion
to
believe
that
The
Muircarrie
must
be
piped
proudly
to
;
and
his
ancestors
had
been
pipers
to
the
head
of
the
clan
for
five
generations
.
It
was
his
duty
to
march
round
the
dining
-
hall
and
play
while
the
guests
feasted
,
but
I
was
obliged
in
the
end
to
make
him
believe
that
he
could
be
heard
better
from
the
terrace
—
because
when
he
was
outside
his
music
was
not
spoiled
by
the
sound
of
talking
.
It
was
very
difficult
,
at
first
.
But
because
I
was
his
chieftainess
,
and
had
learned
how
to
give
orders
in
a
rather
proud
,
stern
little
voice
,
he
knew
he
must
obey
.
Even
this
kind
of
thing
may
show
that
my
life
was
a
peculiar
one
;
but
the
strangest
part
of
it
was
that
,
while
I
was
at
the
head
of
so
many
people
,
I
did
not
really
belong
to
any
one
,
and
I
did
not
know
that
this
was
unusual
.
One
of
my
early
memories
is
that
I
heard
an
under
-
nursemaid
say
to
another
this
curious
thing
:
“
Both
her
father
and
mother
were
dead
when
she
was
born
.
”
I
did
not
even
know
that
was
a
remarkable
thing
to
say
until
I
was
several
years
older
and
Jean
Braidfute
told
me
what
had
been
meant
.
My
father
and
mother
had
both
been
very
young
and
beautiful
and
wonderful
.
It
was
said
that
my
father
was
the
handsomest
chieftain
in
Scotland
,
and
that
his
wife
was
as
beautiful
as
he
was
.
They
came
to
Muircarrie
as
soon
as
they
were
married
and
lived
a
splendid
year
there
together
.
Sometimes
they
were
quite
alone
,
and
spent
their
days
fishing
or
riding
or
wandering
on
the
moor
together
,
or
reading
by
the
fire
in
the
library
the
ancient
books
Angus
Macayre
found
for
them
.
